Okay, what to say this time? All right then, lets get right into it.

Doomsday Clock for the Diablos--6 days 0 hours 20 minutes

That's gametime BTW. I want the result of that game to be a foregone conclusion from the Very. First. Faceoff.

Okay....so hockeywise....not so much going on. I am looking foreward to our scrimmage saturday against the Moose. Or I guess their full name is the Big Gay Moose. For all you out there not involved in HockeyWorld, we have here in the great Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St.Paul, Minnesota, the quiet little phenomenon of the TCGHA.

Anyone want to take a guess on what that stands for? Anyone? Bueller??

No?

Okay...Its the Twin Cities Gay Hockey Association. How great is that? I mean, first of all, Only in Minnesota for starters. I mean....tolerant and artsy urban core? The undisputed State of Hockey?

"Hey!......You got your apple martini in my 23oz Budweiser!!!"

Actually I don't want to stir up ugly stereotypes, but when I tell people (my brother for one) they usually say "no way!" But the thing is, when you think about it, it's a no-brainer. I mean, if I'm permitted to stereotype a teensy bit; most gay men are not at all the swishy type. But a lot of them are well....pretty freaking fit. Canadian author Dave Bidini--Tropic of Hockey is a MUST read for anyone who likes this game and likes books (in other words--not a crazy person) Well, he describes playing all gay male teams as (if I can recall it right) "facing tough, sculpted, hard bodied men with a legitmate axe to grind. An axe they grounded into my face!" Of course, the AHA (our league) is no check so nothings that rough. Anyway from what I heard, the last time we played these guys (I missed it) was really cool. They actually announced everyone's name's and positions before the game (yep...they brought an announcer. Can you believe that? I think that's awesome)

But the real issue--and why, in a way, makes even this little blog entry feel a bit like paleosociology--is that as far I can see, NOBODY GIVES A CRAP. Show up at Ridder, wear our white uniforms. Play some freaking hockey.

That’s the important thing is this. We're all hockey players. That's what makes that famous scene in Miracle so powerful. You know, the "Bruise on the Leg is a Long Way From The Heart" scene. (Krazy Kirk's fav).

Locker room. Lake Placid. 1980 Olympics:

Herb Brooks: *under breath*......candy ass.....

Rob MacClannahan: What did you call me??

Brooks: You heard me...

Mac: You want me to play on one leg? Is that what you want??

Brooks: I want to be a hockey player!!

Mac: I AM A HOCKEY PLAYER!!!!

Let me tell you all something out there--even if it is, you know, all you guys on the team mostly :)--. Being a hockey player is really really cool thing to be. Admit it or not, it seeps into your identity and pretty soon it's just part of who you are. That's what that scene is all about there. Don't just play the game. Be who you are. And don't you fucking tell me that I'm not who I the fuck am.

BTW, in real life MacClanahan never really forgave Brooks for that insult. All the way to Herb's death. He understood rationally what Herb was trying to do, but was so hurtful that he never got a chance to resolve it 100%.

One of the many costs of reaching greatness I guess.....

Keep the blades sharp out there,

-Kai #10

Ok..I need comments, so I can track who's reading. Anyway, the weekend is here. Before I forget;

Doomsday Clock for the Diablos--12 days 0 hours 35 minutes.

Okay...we had a pretty good scrimmage vs. a pretty good C2 team, the Blizzard. They were, of course, better than we were, but I thought we actually held our own pretty well. I myself played mediocre, but that's okay, I'd rather work thru a slump when it doesn't count. It looks like I'm up front with The Ah-Nye-Hilator and Krazy Kirk, which should actually be pretty awesome, being that The Ah-Nye-Hilator can score, and Kirk and I can hustle okay and occasionally score when the opportunity presents itself. And we'll be taking short shifts which maximize our energy for forechecks, which can REALLY create opportunites. The formula works great if your lines sub off correctly, and we do have a guy that really seems to like 3 minute shifts. He knows who he is. I wonder when the inevitable anger meltdown happens from our fearless leader, Kapitan "El Trituratoro" Larry. We gotta come at the Diablos like frakking wildmen and then bring it up a notch against the Piranhas (an old foe from last year) and these Renegades (I hear they have a good keeper.

It's a funny thing, hockey. When you're not playing, you want to be, and even when you're playing the game, you're watching it from the bench for more time than you actually play. The cumulative effect is that you are almost always wanting MORE. But like drugs, it never seems quite enough (or so I've heard) I'd wonder if other hockey players would agree, but in a very real way, the way hockey makes you feel, is that it makes you feel like playing more hockey. Maybe that's why outdoor pick-up is so great, because--at least for me--I actually feel hockeyed out. After about 2-3 hours of it!

So anyway, the Blizzard seemed like a bunch of cool guys, and I wish them the best of luck in their playoffs.

Okay...lets try to get back to some game summaries, the last one being the poor Buccaneers. We managed to play them to a tight score of 10-1. I managed a goal and 2 assists. An amazing assist, being that the goal was "scored" by Grant.....who wasn't at the game. Actually, it was scored by the Ah-Nye-Hilator, who had a hat trick. As did Libby. Here's me being happy that I scored 4 times ALL SEASON and what, both those guys have at least two hat trick games.

Uh oh....battery is below critical.....better log before it goes out

more later

-Kai #10

Ok, so it seems that people actually DO read this thing. I am very touched. This afternoon at our practice I was scolded by the team for ot keeping up with "content". Okay, it was the other 9 guys who showed up and YES...I was late I'm sorry. But it seems that people are reading it and maybe it will lead to future writing fame and fortune, like it did for Diablo Cody. Okay...hockey doesn't have the mass appeal/titilative factor, but hey...I could get Grant to take his shirt off and post a pic if that helps! Actually, Diablo Cody still refuses to attend any AK Bars games so I think I have to call it off with her. As if making movies is SOOOO important. Haha.....

OKay, per request, here is a summary of late of our battles, most importantly the latest disappointment vs. the Diablo's, who are fast becoming the team we most want to beat the crap out of. Here is their summary of our game:

http://diablohockey.blogspot.com/2008/03/diablos-4-ak-bars-2.html

Okay, what they fail to mention, which I admit is of course a pyrrhic victory, being we were unable to secure an actual victory, was Captain Larry El Trituratoro's gutsy call to pull Trey the Tree with a whopping 4:07 left with a 1-4 game. Well, holy gads if we didn't even manage a score in the meantime by scrappy little Nikolai, and they only came close ONCE to getting one in our net the whole time. Where is that in your sports page style blog Diablo's?? It was a meaningless thing and the goal changed nothing of course, but come on! I mean, I don't even try to emulate a journalistic style. I know what team I play for and, being way to self centered to even try to fake it!

Truth be told, we gotta scrap like that a hell of a lot more, as in the rest of the game. Play like the net is empty behind you maybe? The goal of the game came on such a bit of scrappy play. Kirk, playing the role of scrapper in our penalty kill managed to battle into the zone, split two guys at the left circle, and as he goes over the slot puts a gopher killer to the left side when the goalie was sliding right. Nice! I myself was playing forward again with Kirk and none other than our old pal Chad Johnson, who was subbing in being we were a bit short. Sadly, we were without our superstar, Jeren "Drop Pass" Anderson. His C0-Superstar Libby had shot after shot that night, but they have a pretty freaking good goalie. Brett had a rare no-goal evening.

Another dig on the Diablo's blog--They said they put up 36 shots to our 18. The official score sheet showed only 23 to our 18. This jives pretty well with what I recall, it seemed more even than that. So they have an imaginary 13 more shots that I am sure our stoic and stingy defense will beg to differ with. Not that I'm 100% confidant on the accuracy of the scorers (Where's Ms. Boyko when ya need her?), but hey, the official score card is...you know...official. More on THAT topic later....

The rest of the play by play of this game is predictable. We played a good game. Davey got an interference penalty. And I do love playing the Diablo's. And they seem to like playing us too. Before a face off, I mention to the guy across from me,

"I always enjoy playing you guys, good lively games"

"Yep", he says, "We like playing you guys too. Always a good game."

then he continues, " Its good to have a good clean, fun, clean, hard played, clean, exciting clean game"

***some author's embelishment present in previous line to illustrate a point. See also "dramatic license"***

"That's odd", I thought. "They have tons more penalties than WE do. I mean, except for Pavel."

And then the puck dropped and the Super squeaky clean game was back on. I would have fouled that guy somehow--I mean, I'd foul the guy as cleanly and Kum-Bye-Yah as I could, I'm not a monster (or Chris Pronger)--But I didn't get his number. The thing is, the best thing about the Diablo's is they play nice and rough and all that.

And the very best thing? The thing most chock full of awesomnessicity?? The Thing That Is Greater Than Other Things???

The surging Ice Gators beat them yesterday, putting us into 4th place overall (grrrrrrr on that but keep reading), with puts us in to play the Diablo's in the first round of playoffs on April 2nd at 7:15pm.


"Knock....knock......"

"Who's there??...."

"The AK Bars"

"AK Bars who??"


PAYBACK'S a BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!



**cue explosions and flashing lights, loud orchestral music and slo-mo effects"

And that's just the FIRST round :)

see you soon,

-Kai #10

End of AHA 2007-2008 season Part One--

Ladies and gents we are nearing the end of the season. Okay, the bloggy thing has been a bit spare but hey...didn't get this blogspot thing going until pretty late. Pretty neat tho. And as Tree Cain says.....

Blog! Blog!! Blog!!!

Good to have a fan :)

Okay, the season is at an end and the last regular game is tomorrow vs the Buccaneers. Apparently, Capitan Larry El Trituradoro wants Schultzie to pick the lines, being the game is now unimportant regarding the playoffs. More on that later. That means--drum roll please--I think he, me and Davey are gonna be a line. The Soccer Line. The Defense Soccer Line! How cool will that be? Poor Dave hasn't played up all season. What if we score like 5 goals....will we stay together for the playoffs? I myself have been up on forward lately and it's been pretty fun. More on THAT later. It's gonna be great....finally put my old soccer theory to the test. As in we've played so many games together over the last 10 years, its gotta help, right? Okay, gotta wrap for now. More coming.....

-Kai